Fenriss (fenriss) wrote,

A bit sick, but also cautiously optimistic

Since I'm feeling what is either a mild cold, or a nasty ragweed allergy, I will take this opportunity to show off my new icon. I hope you find it as creepy as I do.

However, I am feeling pretty good emotionally (she said, tentatively, looking over her shoulder for any dropping shoes or the like) and I am inclined to think that the new antidepressants may be starting to work.

You know, before my mid-adolescence, I was a very cheerful person. I wasn't really the least bit troubled by abstracts like mortality and meaning, etc. And during a few periods of my adult life, I've been able to reach a similar state of mind. I've come to think of that as my real nature, and of the morose, fatalistic self as the diseased one. So I feel that when the antidepressants are working right, they aren't so much changing me as preventing the depression from changing me.

Or… or maybe I have some sort of multiple personality thing going on, and when I take the meds, I'm really repressing the "depressed me," and sort of causing her to cease to exist…

Aaaaaaaah! I really need to stop thinking out loud as I type.

Um. As I said. Cautiously optimistic.
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