Here's the other thing; since my membership comes with one free session with a personal trainer, I agreed to try that out. The conversation I had with the head of their new in-house personal training department was sort of amusing. He wanted to tell me about how they'll help me keep track of how much weight I'll lose, how many inches I'll lose… but when I said "how about how strong I'm getting? And how much weight I'm lifting?" he genuinely did a double take.
Sigh. I was being advised yesterday to set positive goals, rather than subtractive ones. Excellent advice. But sadly, it seems like trainers still expect "girls" to be primarily concerned about their dress size, and not interested in gaining muscle, and strength as well as cardiovascular health.
So I am going in to see the trainer they hooked me up with tomorrow. However, I'm thinking of refusing to let them take my measurements. Weight, body fat and body composition analysis are great. Assessments of my flexibility and cardiovascular condition, most certainly. But I want them to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I'm not there to shrink. I'm there to get healthy.
I realize this is an emotional reaction, but I don't think it's unreasonable. I'm not squeamish about my weight. I know what it is, and I'm not one of those people who prefers to ignore it because it would stress me out to know. But it's not that big an issue for me. I assume, if I am working out regularly, and my cardiovascular condition, my flexibility and my strength are improving, how can my body shape do anything other than improve?