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I swear, they can smell it on me

Maybe it's the hair? I kind of doubt that, since I've gotten this treatment even when I've looked the most like a young Republican. Coworkers just treat me like a leper. They give me a wide berth in the halls, and even act as if they haven't heard me when I attempt a friendly "good morning."

Mind you, not all of them are like this. It seems like the ones that are nearing retirement age, or the ones that dress a little less obsessively, and are clearly more invested in their families (or the degree they're working on) than the job are normally very friendly. But those young, driven ones; the ones who are "ambitious to get ahead". Those people know I don't share their values (and I use the term loosely.) I think they consider me and my ilk some kind of threat to their world domination plans.

I suppose it's possible that I really smell, but I have it on pretty good authority that I don't.


( 28 comments — Leave a comment )
Feb. 1st, 2005 06:03 pm (UTC)
1. They are big stupidheads

2. You do not smell bad

3. These are not people whose friendship would be particularly enjoyable

4. If they're already jerky, then you have more freedom to be your glorious, authentic self!
Feb. 1st, 2005 07:31 pm (UTC)
All excellent points. Thanks :)
Feb. 1st, 2005 06:19 pm (UTC)
I've never understood that. I think it's the same mentality as the fear of gays issue - your thought process is so different that they find it threatening. I can understand that - I feel the same way about religious zealots. Their thought patterns are so insane they frighten me. I think my fear is more justifiable for they have a history of persecuting my type (whatever that happens to be this week) and are actively pursuing passing laws against my ilk - with success.

It's funny too, because frankly without us their lives would suck more. What better way to show off how hyper-religious they are than to let us faggots exist, so they can look super-puritan by comparison. If we weren't here being weird, they'd all have to compete amongst themselves and the bar would be even harder to reach. Similarly, I don't mind people who work harder than me getting richer - and try to point out to them that it's because there are slackers like me that they can be rich. Were everyone as hard-working as them, their efforts would not be appreciated or rewarded.

I work hard most of the time, but I'm damn grateful for the slackers in this world who made me look better by comparison.
Feb. 1st, 2005 07:05 pm (UTC)
As for smell, there is almost no authority. No one you know would tell you, and frankly smell is more tolerated in the freak community than in the real world. I'm sure you were just joking, and you smelling doesn't come to mind, but if you haven't showered that day you may well smell. If you've sweat or shagged since your last shower, you probably smell. Oh, and if your clothes are on more than 8 hours on-body, you might smell.

No one will tell you if: you smell, your breath smells, your feet/shoes smell, your hair looks greasy, your zipper etc. is undone, you have tp dnagling from your shoe, you have a booger hanging, your panties are sticking outside your skirt, your teeth are yellow...but they will be repulsed and avoid you like the plague if any of the above is true. Social interaction takes a lot of monitoring to master.
Feb. 1st, 2005 07:32 pm (UTC)
Oh, I shower every day without fail, and use approximately a dozen products pour fait la toilette. I check my make-up, teeth, hair, etc. in the mirror at least 8 times throughout the workday, and am exceedingly careful with my dress. It's the depressing reality of working in a place like this. I have to pretend I care.

And despite all of this, I am still less well-groomed than about 75% of my coworkers. Especially the female ones. I think a guy who groomed like I do would be considered gay, or at least a metrosexual. For a woman, it's not enough.
Feb. 1st, 2005 06:35 pm (UTC)
I happen to think you smell pretty good, most of the times I have hugged you. In fact, for a girl-g-, you are pretty ok to hug.

To hell with them, we all love you.

Feb. 1st, 2005 07:33 pm (UTC)
Thanks, sweetie.
Feb. 1st, 2005 06:55 pm (UTC)
First I just have to say they suck! I really believe that freaks must give off some kind of vibe no matter how we dress or cut our hair, etc. I have been in a conservative suit with normal hair and have been pegged for different without saying much more than "hello". The other freaks identify me as do the conservatives. It's like gay-dar or something.

You don't smell bad! They probably find you threatening since small minds find anything that they don't understand scary!
Feb. 1st, 2005 07:35 pm (UTC)
Re: freak-dar
So true.

"I let their teeny minds think that they're dealing with someone who is over the brink, and I dress this way just to keep them at bay, cause Halloween is everyday." :)

Except that I dress just like they do, dammit. If I have to dress like a mundane, the least they could do is pretend they don't know I'm a freak!
Feb. 1st, 2005 08:16 pm (UTC)
Re: freak-dar
Maybe you intimidate people? Grant it, I don't know you very well but what I have seen of you screams confidence. A confident woman scares the hell out of others who are less together. Beauty also intimidates and you are very pretty. It may not be the freak thing at all.
Feb. 1st, 2005 08:33 pm (UTC)
Re: freak-dar
Oops and I forgot to add if you do intimidate others due to positive qualities then screw 'em!

Feb. 1st, 2005 08:46 pm (UTC)
Re: freak-dar
Gosh, you're very sweet to say that. I honestly wasn't fishing for compliments, but everyone is being so nice to me in this thread!
Feb. 1st, 2005 07:01 pm (UTC)
I've been fired from a place like that. I was doing my job well, I was even dressing up like them, but I had too much personality.
Don't bother about them. Just keep in mind that you're much better than them.
Feb. 1st, 2005 07:35 pm (UTC)
I shall take your excellent advice. Thanks.
Feb. 1st, 2005 09:53 pm (UTC)
He's got a point. That's what happened to me in my old office. Now I'm working for the Art department at Tech and being liked and appreciated the way I am -- what a difference! I never realized that I didn't have to change myself drastically in order to fit in at work -- I only had to change where I was working. Of course the honeymoon may end in a few months and all of a sudden everyone will realize that I reek and have too much body hair, but oh well. Perhaps by then I'll be FT with benes, and it's very hard to get fired from a State job. Muahahaaha!
(Deleted comment)
Feb. 1st, 2005 07:36 pm (UTC)
Hee :) *blush*
Feb. 1st, 2005 07:11 pm (UTC)
I think they consider me and my ilk some kind of threat to their world domination plans.

Aren't we?

Crap, did I miss a memo: "Freak World Domination Plans Called Off"?

Sheesh, you close your office door to drown out their mewling noises-- er, edit a very important document! -- and look what happens.

Feb. 1st, 2005 08:40 pm (UTC)
Don't ask me, man. I'm not on the World DOmination team. I make soup, and rub people when they're sore.
Feb. 1st, 2005 08:43 pm (UTC)
Have you been rubbing soup on sore people again?

Feb. 1st, 2005 07:26 pm (UTC)
You always smell good. And I have some authority to say that, as I have smelled you in some pretty extreme situations.

No, they're just stupidheads. I often get the same reactions.
Feb. 1st, 2005 08:41 pm (UTC)
:) Um, likewise, cherie.
Feb. 1st, 2005 07:54 pm (UTC)
It's probably the big "FNORD" tattooed on your forehead.

It's a mammalian defense mechanism, really. Social animals give off various sensory clues as to their role and position in the group, and those who refuse to fall neatly into the pecking-order are shunned, in order to keep them from upsetting the social structures.

Really. Monkeys can discern from photographs the dominant members of other groups, even if they have never met them. They will even give up rewards in order to look at pictures of the dominant monkeys (or of female monkey bottoms), but have to be bribed with rewards in order to look at pictures of lower-ranking monkeys.

If you think it's bad for you, an attractive woman who rather likes people, think how it is for a vaguely menacing-looking male misanthrope. I can stop almost any conversation in the office just by opening my mouth.
Feb. 1st, 2005 08:44 pm (UTC)
They will even give up rewards in order to look at pictures of the dominant monkeys

And you know, it's weird. That is totally consistent with the behavior I see among normal, neophobic humans. Yet I would gladly give up rewards for the opportunity to fling feces at pictures of the dominant monkeys. They intrinsically love the dominant monkeys, while I intrinsically hate them. Nobody can tell me that there isn't a very basic difference at work here.
Feb. 1st, 2005 08:20 pm (UTC)
We used to have a bunchh of crusty's working here. They DID smell.
Feb. 1st, 2005 09:00 pm (UTC)
Er, is "crusty" a descriptive term, or is it a euphemism I'm not familiar with? Cause I'm kinda hoping it's a euphemism. (Or rather, a dysphemism.)
Feb. 1st, 2005 11:49 pm (UTC)
Crusty punks. The disillusioned "anarchy" crowd who think it helps to fight the Man when they don't bath or change their clothes for weeks on end.
Feb. 1st, 2005 09:07 pm (UTC)
You don't smell bad! Yeah, their attitude can certainly make it awkward for you to work with them or pass them in the halls, but it sounds like you're being polite and professional, and that's all you can do. :( They're jerks and I'm sorry they're treating you this way.
Feb. 2nd, 2005 06:50 pm (UTC)
Thanks, my dear :)
( 28 comments — Leave a comment )