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Nov. 17th, 2004

Is 33 too young for a mid-life crisis? Cause that would explain a lot of my recent behavior. Sometimes I'm a mystery to me. Maybe that's what comes of being a nearly compulsive extrovert. I think many of you understand my motives better than I do.



Have I mentioned that I hate the dark side of the year? Other things I hate include people dying too young. My vice president at work, who is a prince of a guy, beloved by everyone who knows him, just lost his step-daughter to cancer. I hate that. It has cast a pall over the department. Many folks are going to the funeral tomorrow, but not having met the deceased, I'm letting my boss represent our division.

My boss is not among the things I hate. As much as I don't like doing all of the things she tells me to, she is a really great human being, and I'm lucky to work under her. But on the downside, I really worry that my comfort here interferes with doing the hard work of becoming certified and licensed in massage. So I'm stalled.

Here's what I really should do. I should shut this browser, grind out the 20 or so review Qs that I'm supposed to write, finish fixing the html pages for lessons 10 and 11, and then march home and pull out my massage study materials. And I should also make appointments to do a bunch of massages over the next few weeks to keep in practice.

What is much more likely to happen is the reading of about a meg of fanfic, followed by marching home to watch 3 episodes of Babylon 5, after which I will fall asleep having accomplished virtually nothing. Not even gazpacho.

Another thing I really hate? These unexplained, extended periods during which I have no self discipline or restraint.

Comments

violet_heather
Nov. 17th, 2004 07:05 pm (UTC)
actually, it is more tied into the first saturn return, which happens when you are 28.... messes you up good for a while...
kicks in really hard at 30 then continues for another few years till it sorts itself out again and you feel less like you are in free-fall and don't now what to do with yourself...
and I too am feeling you on this one
nixieq
Nov. 17th, 2004 07:27 pm (UTC)
commiseration
yup. i'm smack-dab in the middle of mine. i can definitely vouch for that.
fenriss
Nov. 17th, 2004 10:07 pm (UTC)
Yeah mercurialgirl taught me a lot about Saturn returns. But I figured I'd gotten over mine a while back. Maybe I'm a late bloomer?
mercurialgirl
Nov. 18th, 2004 06:39 am (UTC)
somebody beat me to it.

but also, maybe part of the fugue is connected with the whole certification thing, which might be connected with fear things (you know, the ones where an amazingly gifted woman who finished at the top of her class was worried she wouldn't pass at all)? Maybe it's not so much being a late bloomer as the universe wiggling something within you to encourage you to move further down your path. You don't necessarily have to leave the comfort to do so. Comfort is good. Hagge is vital.

Anyhoo. just sayin'

love you.

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