Fenriss (fenriss) wrote,
Fenriss
fenriss

Three True Things

1. My garden is depressingly overgrown. I've had no spoons to maintain it, and now it's pretty out of control.

2. Although the week was treating me pretty well up until now, I feel pretty much unequal to the demands of being a grown-up today, and will have to lay low and hang in there.

3. However, in 30 hours, my weekend starts. I get to see my wonderful therapist, and then I get a whole weekend in which I don't have to be separated from E.

I'm going to tell you something about this Three Good Things practice I've been doing. It's kind of against the grain for me. I really don't tend to be a fan of the focus-on-the-positive school of thought, especially when it's used as an emotional band-aid over a bullet hole. I've spent too much time in my life trying to pretend I was OK for the comfort of others. But, see, at this point in my life, I know I need to work at finding the middle path and most importantly, staying mindfully aware of what is rather than what I wish were. If that parses.

I've come to the conclusion that when the depression isn't in control, I'm a cheerful person by nature. So, Three Good Things is an effort to maintain some contact with that part of me that is optimistic, and feels like things are going to be OK. I am trying to court that part of myself. Call it sympathetic magic.

But today, that part of me seems to be AWOL, so you get the whole truth rather than just the good. Hope that's OK.
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