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Just Clearing Something Up

Here's a thing I've been thinking I should mention. A number of you have been experiencing moderate to serious crises in your lives, as we humans do. You've had conflicts with family members, or you have family members who are very ill, or you have recently lost someone. I wrestle with how to respond to this information, because there is a general belief among a lot of "us" that it's shallow and meaningless to make the "anything I can do to help" offer, especially when one hasn't had much recent contact with the person in crisis. At the same time, I do sincerely feel a desire to offer support, and I end up struggling with the issue.

Generally, I conclude that it's better to keep my mouth (keyboard?) shut, and just stand by. I do regret that so many of "us" have had such negative experiences that an "anything I can do to help" email or phone call is met with such cynicism. It is my sincerest hope that you folks know I will do anything I can to help. You do know that, right?

If you don’t, then here it is: you folks who know me in RL are dear to me, and if you are having a hard time, and it's in my power to assist or comfort in any way, I will do it gladly. Cooking meals for you, watching pets while you're out of town, an evening of herbal tea and DVDs, some massage, or just an ear. If I can possibly carve out the time and energy, it's my pleasure to help. In perpetuity.

Please refer back to this post the next time you are in crisis. Thank you.


Sep. 6th, 2007 05:26 pm (UTC)
I understand what you are saying. Sometimes all I can offer is "hugs", but I do mean them. I find it sad that some people find words of encouragement offensive or shallow, but maybe that is a defense mechanism in itself too.
I think sometimes when people are in crisis they don't have big-picture vision and it's good to hear voices of encouragement outside of the narrow focus that one can get down into.
Sep. 8th, 2007 12:03 am (UTC)
Sometimes all I can offer is "hugs", but I do mean them.

Me too. Sometimes offering hugs is all you can do. And I know it makes me feel better when people do that for me. It doesn't seem frivolous at all when I am the recipient, so it's hard for me to imagine why people get grumpy and suspicious about it, but I guess some folks do.



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