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Just Clearing Something Up

Here's a thing I've been thinking I should mention. A number of you have been experiencing moderate to serious crises in your lives, as we humans do. You've had conflicts with family members, or you have family members who are very ill, or you have recently lost someone. I wrestle with how to respond to this information, because there is a general belief among a lot of "us" that it's shallow and meaningless to make the "anything I can do to help" offer, especially when one hasn't had much recent contact with the person in crisis. At the same time, I do sincerely feel a desire to offer support, and I end up struggling with the issue.

Generally, I conclude that it's better to keep my mouth (keyboard?) shut, and just stand by. I do regret that so many of "us" have had such negative experiences that an "anything I can do to help" email or phone call is met with such cynicism. It is my sincerest hope that you folks know I will do anything I can to help. You do know that, right?

If you don’t, then here it is: you folks who know me in RL are dear to me, and if you are having a hard time, and it's in my power to assist or comfort in any way, I will do it gladly. Cooking meals for you, watching pets while you're out of town, an evening of herbal tea and DVDs, some massage, or just an ear. If I can possibly carve out the time and energy, it's my pleasure to help. In perpetuity.

Please refer back to this post the next time you are in crisis. Thank you.


Sep. 6th, 2007 03:35 pm (UTC)
It is my sincerest hope that you folks know I will do anything I can to help. You do know that, right?

Yep. You may note that I did actually call you in Michigan even knowing that there was nothing you could do.

Also, I'm not one of the cynical in this respect. Some people do spill over into the "my tragedy is your tragedy" thing, which I find distasteful, but most people are genuinely offering an ear or other help, though.
Sep. 6th, 2007 03:45 pm (UTC)
I guess some people do that. It's bewildering, and it never crosses my mind. Because, honestly, I have plenty of my own tragedy, so I don't need to go stealing anyone else's.

One thing: I never voice my opinion regarding your mom, you know. I figure you know what I think about certain behaviors of hers, and when you bring her up, I am not the person you want to hear from. Am I right about that? Because I just assume you know I am supportive of you.

Sep. 6th, 2007 04:04 pm (UTC)
Oh, yes.

There are other situations in which I wouldn't mind your perspective (for example, IS it outrageous to think your cousin will babysit your 2.5 year old for an entire weekend?), but my issues with my mom are well established. The only time I'd want you to point it out is if you think I'm not realizing it...

Sep. 6th, 2007 05:03 pm (UTC)
For the record, it is NOT appropriate to assume your cousin can care for your toddler for an entire weekend. You can count my vote among the many others who said as much.

And I'm pretty ticked at your mom for her acusation about your stamina. But you already knew that.

And, btw, I am grateful that I'm someone you feel you can call when you need a sympathetic ear. That's an honor, and I would never betray that trust.
Sep. 6th, 2007 05:04 pm (UTC)
um... I'm not logged in, It's Fenriss :)



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