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Nov. 27th, 2001

I tired to do an entry yesterday, but it got eaten by some sort of server difficulty.

Thanksgiving was pretty exhausting. It was great to see my Mom, and it was great to see Eric's family and it was great to have 20 friends over for dinner. It wasn't so great being sick for the whole thing, and it was just a tad overwhelming to have it all happen at once. I slept all day Sunday, and was still incredibly tired and wrung out on Monday.

This is Day Two sitting for a half hour with the full-spectrum light. I am taking my B complex and trying to get outside for walks. I'm having to do all of this on faith, because the way I'm feeling right now, it's hard for me to really believe that anything will help much.

I really hate to be the sort of person who writes bleak LJ entries, so I'll try to wait until I feel better to write anymore.


( 12 comments — Leave a comment )
Nov. 27th, 2001 07:58 am (UTC)
You are by no means overshooting your quota of bleak LJ entries. *hug*

I'll keep my fingers crossed that your new light will start working SOON.
Nov. 27th, 2001 08:05 am (UTC)
Thanks, my dear. You are so steadfastly supportive. All the hugs and happiness in the world to you!
Nov. 27th, 2001 08:32 am (UTC)
Nahh, you're not being bleak. I am the Queen of Bleak!

I've been kind of down the past 2 days, but I refuse to believe I have SAD since I hate summer so much. Maybe I'm just on the wrong planet?
Nov. 27th, 2001 09:33 am (UTC)
You're not anywhere near your bleak quota, so hush up and keep writing . . . wait . . . *laughs*

SAD isn't necessarily something that goes away overnight -- it's a gradual effect, and you *do* need to take it a little bit on faith that the light is working . . . it's definitely something that's helped by psychological factors . . .

It really just sounds like you're exhausted -- you've been through a couple of illnesses right on each other's heels . . . be a little gentle to yourself for a while, and hopefully your system will be back up and running soon.

(((hugs))) Hope you're feeling better, sweetie :)

-- Andi, who has also been hit by the post-eating bug
Nov. 27th, 2001 09:45 am (UTC)
:) Thanks, Andi. I know the treatment takes awhile, but my hopes have been raised by a lot of reports that the light works drastically faster than medication (... although I'm taking my regular meds as well.)

Glad you had a fun time. Maybe E. and I will find the energy to drag ourselves out to a club sometime soon! Hugs!
Nov. 27th, 2001 10:00 am (UTC)
Keeping your hopes up is great -- just don't let yourself be disappointed if you don't have *immediate* results. It sounds like you're going through a very normal post-holiday-gathering letdown, on top of feeling low from illness, and that can get anyone feeling dismal even *without* SAD. Give yourself some time, and just keep in mind that not seeing results *this very second* doesn't mean that it isn't working.

And I have no excuse whatsoever to make you come to *me* since I'm not working . . . drop me an e-mail, let's get together for dinner soon, maybe if you're feeling better later this week? Or, if you don't mind braving the wilds of Maryland, c'mon over and visit, and I'll *cook* :D

-- Andi, who, for the latter, requests preferences as to veggie-ness and whether or not you like olives :)
Nov. 28th, 2001 06:30 am (UTC)
Thanks so much for the invite, my dear. As yet, I'm not feeling much better, I'm afraid. While I'd totally LOVE to enjoy a home cooked meal of yours, it looks like it probably can't be real soon. :(

I do love olives, though!
Nov. 27th, 2001 09:40 am (UTC)
Sweet darling girl, don't worry about somehow "burdening" your friends here. When you are feeling all plooky it just makes me want to cuddle you anyway.

Depression sucks.

My problem doesn't appear to be depression, so much as a tendency toward acute attacks of vicious self-loathing. I really wish they had a light for that. But Oh Fucking Well!

Darling, I love you and anytime you want to call, even if it's 3 AM, please do. If someone's online, I will check my messages as soon as they're off. You do have my number, right?
Nov. 27th, 2001 09:51 am (UTC)
Re: (((((hugs)))))
Gah!!! If there's anyone who shouldn't self-loathe!

I wish loved ones could say "knock it off with the self-loathing, cuz you're fabulous in too many ways to count!" and it would make some kind of difference... but that's the bitch of it. It's not something anyone else can fix... (there I go with the bleak again.)

Anyway, my dear and wonderful squirrel guirrel, thanks for your loving words. I do have the Blacksburg number you gave me about a year ago, so if it hasn't changed, then I'm set. I'll give you a call soon, and maybe it can even be a non-bleak sort of chat. Much love!
Nov. 27th, 2001 10:25 am (UTC)
I dunno
Some days, self-loathing is the only thing that gets me out of bed in the morning.
Nov. 28th, 2001 07:23 am (UTC)
Re: I dunno
Ha! I know what you mean. "If I don't get up and go to work, everything will just suck MORE, and I will wallow forever in the quicksand of FAILURE!" That's fun.
Nov. 27th, 2001 10:17 am (UTC)
Not faith, trust. We're talking about something that has stood up to emperical testing. Leave the faith stuff to the Jubusites.
( 12 comments — Leave a comment )



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