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Yay.

Have I mentioned lately how much I love doing massage? It’s almost as if days off and workdays aren’t so different anymore, because I thoroughly enjoy what I’m doing.

For the record, if you ever find yourself wondering if it’s worth the risk and effort to train and prepare and risk everything to do something you think you might love to do, it absolutely is. You can quote me on that.

Anyway. This whole seismic shift in my life is having a strange impact on my emotions. Just now, I was watching Queer Eye. They were making over this dad who had adopted half a dozen kids or so, all from different ethnic backgrounds. One of the kids was saying how he and Dad are always saying that they love each other. And the kids were so sweet, and the wife was so supportive… I just started to weep.

I don’t know. I feel good. I feel alive. I’m just not used to feeling this much. It’s like I’ve been in prison all these years, and I am finally myself for the first time ever.

So, yay.

Comments

rednikki
May. 4th, 2006 05:08 pm (UTC)
It’s almost as if days off and workdays aren’t so different anymore, because I thoroughly enjoy what I’m doing.

Yes! That's it exactly! Of course, for me, lately, there hadn't BEEN any days off - and part of that was because I liked what I was doing so much I took on more than I should have. I had to force myself to take this vacation.

I don’t know. I feel good. I feel alive. I’m just not used to feeling this much. It’s like I’ve been in prison all these years, and I am finally myself for the first time ever.

Yes! That's exactly how it feels. And believe me, other people will notice. It's been strange in LA, because, to put it bluntly, I'm the fat, plain chick (esp. in LA, with all the actress/model/waitresses). And yet...I get hit on ALL the TIME. And then I came back to Boston, and people I would cheerfully have broken my neck to date when I lived here are telling me how attractive I am. I haven't changed all that much on the outside, so I have to believe it has something to do with what's inside.

Er, not that having other people find you sexually attractive is the goal of doing something you love. But I do think it's an indicator of an inner happiness, when people seem to find you irresistible.

Not that you ever weren't irresistible. ;-)

What are your days off? I would like to call you.
fenriss
May. 4th, 2006 09:08 pm (UTC)
Yep. Nothing sexier than happiness and confidence.

Well, it's Wednesday and Thursday, but I'm a little hard to catch today. I don't think I have any clients tomorrow until 3 PM, and you caould certainly call me any time after 8PM. I'd love to hear your voice, my love.

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