And I am so very far from prepared for the Cert. Jebus, the breadth of the material is huge! I need to know everything from the hormones of the anterior pituitary to the causes of Cushing's Disease to the tax forms general contractors have to file to which emotion is associated with the element of wood in Chinese medicine to blah, blah, blah ad nauseum.
See, as I study, I get engaged in the subject material. How am I supposed to absorb it if I don't? I wonder why thyroxine has 4 iodine atoms, and triiodothyronine only has 3, and by the time I'm done looking that up online, and reading over the relevant paragraphs until I can really grasp the concrete reality of it, I realize it's 11 PM, and I'm not even halfway done with my work on the endocrine system.
At this rate, I'll never get enough review on a fraction of the material to pass the stupid test. And that's the bitch of it. This exam punishes you for intellectual curiosity. For plumbing the depths of your subjects, rather than madly skimming over pages and pages of crap that will never have any baring on your career as a massage therapist! *headdesk*
I am dying to do something creative or visual. I long to play with photoshop, or linger over the creation of a colorful meal, or sew something, which I haven't done in nearly a year. But there's work, and when there isn't work, there's study. Or if I am past the point where I can concentrate anymore, there is sleep, and anxious dreams.
It'll be over in 15 days. But until then, I'm grinding my teeth to nubs.
Oh. Good Imbolc to thems as cares. And Happy Groundhog Day to thems as don't. Look, here's a candle for the occasion. I'll be more pleasant in a coupla weeks, promise.