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Nov. 17th, 2004

Is 33 too young for a mid-life crisis? Cause that would explain a lot of my recent behavior. Sometimes I'm a mystery to me. Maybe that's what comes of being a nearly compulsive extrovert. I think many of you understand my motives better than I do.



Have I mentioned that I hate the dark side of the year? Other things I hate include people dying too young. My vice president at work, who is a prince of a guy, beloved by everyone who knows him, just lost his step-daughter to cancer. I hate that. It has cast a pall over the department. Many folks are going to the funeral tomorrow, but not having met the deceased, I'm letting my boss represent our division.

My boss is not among the things I hate. As much as I don't like doing all of the things she tells me to, she is a really great human being, and I'm lucky to work under her. But on the downside, I really worry that my comfort here interferes with doing the hard work of becoming certified and licensed in massage. So I'm stalled.

Here's what I really should do. I should shut this browser, grind out the 20 or so review Qs that I'm supposed to write, finish fixing the html pages for lessons 10 and 11, and then march home and pull out my massage study materials. And I should also make appointments to do a bunch of massages over the next few weeks to keep in practice.

What is much more likely to happen is the reading of about a meg of fanfic, followed by marching home to watch 3 episodes of Babylon 5, after which I will fall asleep having accomplished virtually nothing. Not even gazpacho.

Another thing I really hate? These unexplained, extended periods during which I have no self discipline or restraint.

Comments

( 18 comments — Leave a comment )
espiritu_fuego
Nov. 17th, 2004 04:48 pm (UTC)
Not too young
Julie here - 33 is in no way too young - I have been having a mid-life crisis for about the past 5 years! :)
fenriss
Nov. 17th, 2004 05:09 pm (UTC)
Re: Not too young
Well, that's good to know. Age-inappropriate behavior loves company! :)
rednikki
Nov. 17th, 2004 05:12 pm (UTC)
I understand the sense of inertia - I get it, too. The thing I find works to get me out of it is to make bargains with myself. "If I get this page of names entered into ACT, then I can read one fic, where fic is defined as something significantly shorter than 'Dr. Jackson's Diary'." Stuff like that. YMMV, of course, but then at least I get SOMETHING done.
fenriss
Nov. 17th, 2004 05:59 pm (UTC)
Good plan. I'm going to finish 8 of the Q's I need to write, and then Take a half-hour pr0n break. It's a compromise.

(Tried to call last night. Got any further weekend details nailed down? Hugs to you!)

boadiccea
Nov. 17th, 2004 05:22 pm (UTC)
Whoo boy do I hear ya!

I wondered what you meant when you mentioned a mid-life crisis to me the other day in an email. Now I know.

I wish I could offer some on-the-spot advice. I think I'm going through one too but am taking drastic measures to fix it (I hope). I don't recommend drastic measures to anybody, though, what with all the drasticiness and all.

If you want to talk about it sometime, though, let me know....maybe we can bounce ideas off of each other.

*hugs*
fenriss
Nov. 17th, 2004 06:00 pm (UTC)
Sometimes drastic is what's needed... Yes, let's talk sometime. When may be the problem... we're both terribly preoccupied with things lately.
joanarkham
Nov. 17th, 2004 05:31 pm (UTC)
I need to see you guys soon. This weekend? Friday night?
fenriss
Nov. 17th, 2004 05:57 pm (UTC)
Word. Turns out Friday is good. Let's make plans.
joanarkham
Nov. 17th, 2004 06:25 pm (UTC)
citizen_ken and I (should) both have the day off, so just about anything would be good. We could hang at our place and watch movies or whatevah.

We have Bubba-Ho-tep and haven't seen it yet...
kitteblue
Nov. 17th, 2004 05:43 pm (UTC)
midlife crisis
Aren't you supposed to buy an overpriced sports car, sleep with your too young secretary or something like that? I think being lazy is just the mammal part of you saying "it's winter stupid. go sleep somewhere warm."

(can you tell I hate the long of the dark too?)

Can we skip tight from X-mas to Mardi gras?
fenriss
Nov. 17th, 2004 06:02 pm (UTC)
Re: midlife crisis
"it's winter stupid. go sleep somewhere warm."

Yeah, that's about it. If we were the civilized culture we claim to be, everything would just sort of close down from November through February, and we'd all sleep 18 hours a day. Feh.
mels_hell
Nov. 18th, 2004 05:18 am (UTC)
Re: midlife crisis
Boy do I know the feeling... another night of crackers and cheese because it's dark, cold and yucky outside and I don't feel like getting groceries in the cold dark... Don't wanna do anything other than going somewhere warm and sleeping a little... So tired after everything this week-heavy, heavy.

Sending you a hug. Go curl up with your hubby and crank the heat a little past where it's supposed to go... just one night... feels good :)
eac
Nov. 17th, 2004 06:31 pm (UTC)
...right there with you...
violet_heather
Nov. 17th, 2004 07:05 pm (UTC)
actually, it is more tied into the first saturn return, which happens when you are 28.... messes you up good for a while...
kicks in really hard at 30 then continues for another few years till it sorts itself out again and you feel less like you are in free-fall and don't now what to do with yourself...
and I too am feeling you on this one
nixieq
Nov. 17th, 2004 07:27 pm (UTC)
commiseration
yup. i'm smack-dab in the middle of mine. i can definitely vouch for that.
fenriss
Nov. 17th, 2004 10:07 pm (UTC)
Yeah mercurialgirl taught me a lot about Saturn returns. But I figured I'd gotten over mine a while back. Maybe I'm a late bloomer?
mercurialgirl
Nov. 18th, 2004 06:39 am (UTC)
somebody beat me to it.

but also, maybe part of the fugue is connected with the whole certification thing, which might be connected with fear things (you know, the ones where an amazingly gifted woman who finished at the top of her class was worried she wouldn't pass at all)? Maybe it's not so much being a late bloomer as the universe wiggling something within you to encourage you to move further down your path. You don't necessarily have to leave the comfort to do so. Comfort is good. Hagge is vital.

Anyhoo. just sayin'

love you.
pastor_saturn
Nov. 17th, 2004 09:07 pm (UTC)
I've been in a mid-life crisis for, uh, 15 years or so. Yes, I'm in a rut, but it's *my* rut! :)
( 18 comments — Leave a comment )

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